So im exhausted over emotional, i self harmed today, felt like overdosing but more importantly sought help before things went to far.
Sometimes putting yourself in an overstimulating environment is the best you can do for you. Ive done nothing but been listening to podcasts, music and going for a smoke all day and as much as the environment is overload i came prepared with my loops, headphones, weighted bear and sunglasses. On the sensory front i feel like im just about holding it together.
My brain on the other hand is still struggling with old guilt with all that happened with my uncles whether i acted soon enough, if id acted sooner would my uncle have lived longer.
Its crazy that people really seem to connect with me here i had a doctor with ADHD and we chatted for ages, its nice to feel accepted somewhere even tho i know i know i know i need to find other places and other reset strategies - but hey im working on that.
I guess i should be proud of myself i was able to tell my friend i needed time recooperate and space for a bit today.
Having all these diagnosises is challenging, confusing and somewhat conflicting but im learning i have to embrace them and find a way to work with them. And sometimes that means finding my own boundaries and giving myself space to recharge.
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