So i hate the crisisline so damn much. I disassociated tonight my heads a mess-physically (not enough for the an ambulance). But the crisisline refuses to talk to you just overreacts and calls an ambulance.
So here's what's been left unsaid since saturday i've been missing my supportive uncle who died less than 3 years ago now its coming upto 3 in march he would have put mum in her place. I'm not gonna lie I cried myself to sleep lastnight cuddling his hoodie. Didn't help when we went shopping yesterday there was stalls with stuff he'd wear and dreamcatchers like my other dead aunts.
I know he respected my decisions with my uncle terry even put me on a pedestal for it. He was proud i fought for family when they needed it no family is or have ever been there to fight for me. So maybe im a little bitter right now, hurt and upset.
I know families are a complicated thing!
I feel sorry for my friend staying over having to deal with me like this.
I know i need to let it go but my brain wont shut down its just all so draining.
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