So im autistic i get things arent this traumatic for everyone. But when one person messes with everything it throws my world upside down. So maybe im hyper sensitive to but today i woke up feeling well grounded for the day ahead. I mean i knew i had a challenging day ahead, but i did realise how challenging.
So i had my post autism diagnostic group in the morning which was focusing on communication and relationships and all my head could do was think about how ill never trust anyone romantically again. And how i can only imagine being around neurodivergents so i dont have to mask.
Then i had to waste 3 hours effectively as there was no point in going home. Im probably one of the most impatient people you know and clock watching does not help.
So heres when it all went really wrong i turned upto my appointment anxious as ever to meet my new care coordinator. Note im only expecting to be there for that! The manager a tall man comes to and says can i have a word. Panic sets in im not good one to one with men its written all over my notes. We are one on one in a room when i get the guts to say this is not ok i dont cope well one to one with men. He then says so ill come in with your carec coordinator i at this point felt id used my no and agreed but alarms were going off in my head this isnt what im here for, i dont wanna see two new people at the same time i cant, but also why should my new care coordinator experience be tarnished at the start by old care coordinators mistakes. I went to the toilet to meltdown. Came out threw me excess meds at the receptionist saying they were for the care coordinator and to say im sorry.
Things are so much clearer when things are what you are expecting. I was lucky enough to have a support worker from another service who was able to talk to the care coordinator and explain what went wrong with the service interaction. And we can discuss it further tomorrow but that whole episode got me so worked up and stressed out i just had to go home and sleep after it.
Now i think ive prepared the bathroom for the workmen tomorrow. I can relax a bit
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