Today i was up early so went out early into the local town, to deliver a fleece a friend had me order, met up with my mum and order a cheesecake for her neighbour birthday even though she always tells me off.
It was the anniversary of my uncle's death today too, i posted a facebook post : -
Loss is a funny thing it changes shape slightly over the years, but it stays with you all the same. You'll never forget those treasured moments you've had and the lessons you've learn't from those that have passed. They will always have a place in your heart and your life, in how you go on living - you may not notice it at the time. I've lost a lot in my life, it's the anniversary of my Uncle Derek passing today. These last few weeks reminded me how he believed strongly in right and wrong and installed a sense of karma in me. That if people do me wrong in life they will get their comeuppance. I know that a lot of people on my timeline won't believe in this but I hope you can respect my belief when I say I truly feel he's had my back even in death. I'm forever thankful for having such an amazing man as my uncle and in my life, he inspired me in so many ways.
I went to the local recovery cafe which was interesting and i was able to share how my experiences of loss of people relationships etc has changed over the years and how im gradually coming coming to terms with it not always being a negative thing. It really actually gave me insight into how much ive changed how i used to sabotage relationships that were coming to an end and now im learning slowly to embrace it, dont get me wrong change is still terrifying for me but i can see good with the bad.
It also allowed me to vent one to one about CNS and my fears going forward. Its been a really emotionally stressful week but im a little more hopeful i can get my act together and turn it around.
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