Hi there!

Welcome to my blog...

I'm not gonna lie some things maybe intense and raw - but most of all they will be honest.

So here's a brief explaination for the title and introduction to me...

My names Debby I'm currently 36, I was Labelled early on by my family as a problem child. I was said to be impossible to deal with at home (to be honest I don't remember much other than being pushed, hit and shouted at). I didn't fit in anywhere school or home I'm the youngest of 4 (and when I say youngest I don't mean by a few years my sister is 9 years older than me and my brothers are 12 and 13 years older than me). At school I was a fast learner - learnt to write before my classmates. However, if I wasn't interested I'd find it hard to concentrate. My interests were a reflection of my peers interests as an effort for them to like me.

As I got older I found it harder to mask my overwhelm, I struggled with my identity and nothing ever felt good enough. I started self harm in a variety of ways and hiding it from everyone until I got found out. This is where walking on glass comes in as, I guess those around me must have felt like they were, with every interaction incase I reacted negatively in a self damaging destructive way. Here I want to make this clear this blog will NEVER method share it is something I am strongly against. During this period I was Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (although this doesn't feel relevant in my current journey), Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Social Anxiety.

Now at 36 a whole new world of neurodivergence has opened up to me as, last year I was diagnosed with Autism and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and it's like someone's just shone a light on my whole life. As I'm learning so much about myself I have impulsivity from ADHD, I suffer with overwhelm due to ASD and this is also why I struggle naming my emotions. I've discovered binge watching, smoking and chewing is stimming for me.

Next step of my journey...

Tomorrow I have the Complex Needs Service to see what therapy they can offer me I'll check in after.